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Game Quotes

Page history last edited by PBworks 12 years, 2 months ago


Episode 1

Link: mp080202



Many mini foo foo.


The plank has wood.

> Is it hard wood?


I pimp-slap the plank.


Do you feel lucky, plank?

(Reference to Dirty Harry.)


You going to plank me, man?


You keep that plank away from me!


Say hello to my little plank!

(Reference to Scarface.)



You were attacked by random combat test pirates... and a plot hole sank the pirate ship.


Lifeboats? There aren't any lifeboats. This is "BLB" ... Before Life Boats.


Episode 2

Link: mp080209



Dude, I just rolled to become a god ... and I got a natural 20. (Pre-game roll-ups)


Over at the entrance where Jack's rat ... Jack's snake ... gah ... Jack's Snake, Don's Rat ... you guys and your fucking animals.



(With each frog's death)


We are what we eat. YOU are what we eat.


NICK, to Don

Welcome to your first turn back among the moving!

(First turn after paralysis wears off.)


NICK, to Jack

You rolled a Perform "suicide?" Can you do that multiple times per day?

(Pre-game roll-ups)


Jack, you have a "Shiddy" feeling in your pants.


Alright Jack, what do you want? It's Christmas, sit on my lap.

(During EXP by Player)


NICK, to Brian

You and your student are shooting yourselves in the foot, there ... with your fists.

(Regarding poor attack rolls.)


Episode 3

Link: mp080223


ALL, with the exception of Brian

Bugbear porn...

I only want to watch bugbear porn ...

My only fetish is BUGBEARS!

So spread your legs and see!



By switching to three-point-five, fifteen on an attack roll could save you 15 or more hit points from an opponent's attack.

(Regarding Gycco, Ackrak's goblin slave.)



The archer asked me to retrieve this staff for him.


What archer?


Yes, while I was unconscious, the sun came down to me in a vision and asked me to retrieve this staff for him.


The sun asked you, or the archer?


The sun is the archer.




Episode 4

Link: mp080301



Foo Foo Gods? Are you a Foo Foo God?

If someone asks you if you're a Foo Foo God, you say YES!

(Reference to Ghostbusters.)




I Shenlong time?


In the name of the monk, I will punish you!

(Reference to Sailor Moon.)


Aren't you a little short for a sahaugin?

(Reference to A New Hope.)



We don't have anyone to give a ship to. I don't give a ship!



Do these pirates follow the code? What if I said parlay?


They'd yell back that French hasn't been invented yet!

(Reference to Curse of the Black Pearl.)



Ackrak gains the half-gazebo template.

(Reference to Eric and the Gazebo.)


...Brian is eaten by a lump of coal.


NICK, to Brian

The dead crab comes back to life and bites your face off. Your Charisma is permanently reduced by 1. Consider yourself "blue-bolted."


Episode 5

Link: mp080308



In the end, there can be only crab?

(Reference to Highlander.)


Magic Circle Against Mormons.


You could say: "Don is well-suited to saving."



Take Ranger 4 and call me in the morning. (For animal companion.)



Does the crab bag float? Can I use it for a boat? If so, I'm going to tie it to the ship.

It's now 1 CLB, "1 Crab Life Boat."


We can call it the Ackrakian Calendar.



Everyone's invisible now, except the monk ... he's the last monk standing.



It's not my fault if my students don't survive my training.


The monk has a harsh training regiment.



Don't kill clerics in anger.


You guys meet a friendly predator. He makes a masterwork crab shield for you.

(Reference to Alien vs. Predator.)


The predator shakes his head and seems unimpressed with the dance. He walks back up the stairs and leaves, but you have the feeling you may see him again, one day.

(Reference to Alien vs. Predator.)


It's still too early to tell... it's cloudy with a chance of monsters.


Akrak prevents the poison from getting worse ... but he's still hungry.

(Reference to Chrono Trigger.)


Episode 6

Link: mp080315



I have a 10-foot reach ... IN MY PANTS!


Shoot! Then ask questions!



Perhaps you should save the poison for the opportune moment...


What are you, the DM?

(Reference to Curse of the Black Pearl.)


(Regarding Cessar's comment to Seikius.)

GHAMOR, to Seikius

He's trying to say your bow is weak, but politely.

ACKRAK, to Seikius


NICK, to Seikius

I think you're going to need a bigger bow.

(Reference to Jaws.)



Three frogs enter, Akrak leaves.

(Reference to Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome.)


"We came, we saw, we kicked its ass!"

(Quote from Ghostbusters.)


He is a tank made out of AC. No guns, no weapons, and no hit points. Just Armor Class.

(Regarding the monk.)


Episode 8

Link: mp080419



Gycco saved my axe.


Episode 11

Link: mp080524



We've done so much and we don't even have any gold.


At least you've got your lives!




NICK, to Brian

If you call your penis a holy artifact again, I swear...



If you can't take the heat, stop shagging the balrog.

(Reference to Diablo.)


Put your Spellcraft where I can see it!


You can have my Spellcraft when you pry it from my cold, dead fingers.

(Reference to Men in Black.)


36 damage from LAME STRIKE!

(Regarding the boss monster's repeated use of the flame strike spell.)


Episode 12

Link: mp080531



Gnomes are bad, bad men.



So, are you going to sneak over to the ship, or is the rogue?


I was thinking both of us since I'll need her for locks.


I knew you were only into the rogue for her locks.



Don, do you want to intimidate a couple of air mephits into powering the ship's sails?


I'm intimidating EVERYONE!


Episode 13

Link: mp080607



Uncle Ackrak wants YOU to join the navy.


Kobold Academy.



Surrender or be destroyed!


I am the scourge of this sea!

(Sash flares up and makes Ackrak look huge, like a balor.)



I'm going to teach them to shit. I mean fish.


I think they already knew how to shit, Jack, they were doing it during the battle.


All over the deck.


Do you have any idea how hard it is to get kobold shit stains out of the wood?



Do the kobolds have porn?




Then I give them bugbear porn.


The kobolds don't get pornography. They're always naked.



The kobold jumps up and down waving his hands shouting "parley!"


French hasn't been invented yet!

(Back-reference to Ep. 4; Reference to Curse of the Black Pearl.)



I will give you guys the tarrasque on a platter. When you hit that level, it will wake up hungry ... and you guys will eat it.


Do the kobolds have two sexes, like we do?

(Reference to Mars Attack!)


There is no Dana, only Zooh.

(Reference to Ghostbusters.)

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